Untitled.

Some days, it takes all I have to open my eyes; and when I do I tend to disassociate into another world. Now that I have clearance to return to a small step of normalcy, which I haven't experienced for over a year after learning about my heart failure and ticking time bomb liver, I'm feeling a bit overwhelmed. What if I overdo it? What if I can't keep up, what if my brain won't let me think of words? The brain fog has become my worst enemy. I hide from people because I get so damn frustrated with myself. After all, words do not come easily to me anymore. I don't want people thinking I'm dumb or an airhead. I mean, my god, I was studying to be a wildlife biologist before this all happened. It's just so hard to explain to people. Being terminally ill is no joke. It fucking sucks. 

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